RIP

R.I.P. Nolan. I don't know why it comes to this so often, but I'm certain you could have pulled through whatever it was.

My Story of Nature

Two years ago, I was lying under the big tree in my front yard and staring up at the leaves - which had been falling to the ground. I was hoping to see a leaf fall from the tree, but after twenty minutes of anticipation, no luck. I began talking to the tree - believing full well that it could not hear me - and said: "Tree, if you can hear me, drop just one leaf from your branch for me to see, so I can believe that we have a real connection in this world." And less than 3 seconds after I said this to the tree - after 20 minutes of waiting to see a leaf fall - the tree let a leaf loose and I watched as it fluttered down and landed on my chest. I immediately stood up, thanked the tree, and went in to secure the leaf in a safe place (inside a Robert Frost book of mine). I have not seen the leaf since then - until today.

Four days ago, on Monday, October 5, my best friend, Mr. Mick, was hit and killed by a car in front of my house. It has shaken the very foundation of my view of reality. Long story short, to help cope with this immense loss, pain, and sadness, Paige and I have been collecting flowers every single day to put on Mick's grave - which is in our back yard - while constantly talking to him as well. I don't believe he can hear us, because I don't believe in any sentient afterlife; however, I assured Paige that Mick, being a cat and all, could not understand what we were saying to him while he was alive, so the fact that he cannot understand us now makes no difference to me. So I continue to talk to Mick, outward and openly, with the faint hope that doing so matters in some way - that some spark of our connection allows such utterances to be well-received, somehow.

Today, Friday, October 9th, Paige and I were planning to cut another sunflower from my front yard to put on Mick's grave. But just before doing so, I remembered the leaf I had tucked away inside my Robert Frost book two years previous. I remembered what the leaf stood for: My connection with nature. My connection with a tree, that although not sentient, could drop a leaf to my chest if I asked appropriately. I thought about my utterances to - my one-way conversations with - my no-longer-sentient friend, Mick, and I realized that it was once again time for that fallen leaf to serve as a connector for myself and my fallen best friend. Paige and I walked out to where Mick's body rests, and I pushed some dirt from the surface of the ground, placed the leaf (which was still in perfect shape) beneath the soil, and told my no-longer-sentient friend that I miss him and love him. While walking back into my house I knew... although Mick cannot understand the words I speak to him, the connection is still there.

I no longer need such a memento, which once hid within my Robert Frost book, to remember such connections. Like Mick (and with Mick), I buried the leaf forever, yet I will continue to speak to my best friend, and will stay connected to him always.

Life: A Story

Life, an exceptionally foreboding domicile, wrought with the absence of silence, eternity PEERING through you as each instant decays. She whispers… you can Feel it [TASTE], an ever-preening presence begging for that… [A TASTE] – she knows you, she knows you have it – the way in which you have it.

She Wants It

DEATHhhhhhh: drawn out of my every pore – my being – defiant in nature, of life, defiant of herself. Her tongue flickers speaks [^tastes]. She [smells] you immortal. Her. Breath. Less. Lungs.

wondering: “what now?”

Her tongue flickers… again. [TASTE], she craves it like sex. Like émigré, drawing foreign blood with her pencils – a [SIGHT] unseen, like air departing… forever.

And who’s to tell her ‘ no ‘ ?

ɹǝɥ ɟo ǝɯ spuıɯǝɹ ǝɟıן

But, who am I? tocr, tocr, tocr, to critique – WHO AM I to gaze?

We paint each other backwards. Her, fresh, lilacs light up

up the room. With fingertip embraces and Sistine eyes

devouring the very SOUL which resides within my

bleed. blood. I bleed for her safety (amusement)

with both hands trembling, staring to the sky

she wants to [FEEL] it, to [HEAR] it, to…

contain it within her whimsy. a dream

and me. standing here. alone. here

SCREAMING!!!!!! silent

barren desolate. amalgam

THIS was my vision of her, of us – death, like a horseless carriage barreling down the turnpike of disaster.

ME – reaching for the ropes, but none sufficed to steer this bird… down down down down

HER – remembering me this way.

Lips sealed together, concealing secrets within one, eternal kiss. And

Life. An exceptionally foreboding domicile.

Wrought with THE ABSENCE OF silence.

Peering Whispering ever-Preening

KNOWING –

thewaylifeshouldbedrapedwithinconundrum[smelling]oftomorrowbreathingintoTHEEND

A Few Movies that I didn't realize were Filmed (at least partially) in Utah

The Way of the Gun
There's Something About Mary
Forrest Gump
2001 Space Odyssey
Easy Rider
Dumb and Dumber (I knew this already, but I still want to list it)
Galaxy Quest
To Wong Foo...
etc...

Photographic Experiment 1: Facing West IS ONLINE

See pictures HERE

Inhumanity in Hinckly, Utah

Dogs/Cats euthanized by being shot in the head wander into woman's yard and die slow, painful death. Many dog corpses piled in mass grave, many still wearing collars, etc. Check out story - we should SERIOUSLY take this on as a project and get this inhumane practice ended ASAP.


http://www.fox13now.com/news/kstu-hinckley-strays-shot,0,6584876.story

HINCKLEY, Utah - Residents in the small town of Hinckley, Utah are speaking out against the city's animal control policy. The mayor of Hinckley says after strays are held for 72 hours, they are shot. Critics call it an archaic and cruel form of animal control. Hinckley resident Suzanne Folsom said, "It's so sick and its so very very wrong." According to city officials and residents, the dogs and cats are taken to a fenced-in sewage pond on the outskirts of town, shot and their bodies left in an open pit.

Tamra Hanks says her property touches the site, and that cats wounded from bullets have crossed through her property, only to die a slow and painful death. Hanks said, "It's probably one of the worst things I've ever seen." As to the dogs in the massive grave, "They had collars on them. They were people's pets."

Mayor Donald Brown says the city's policy is efficient and cost-effective. It is legal to shoot dogs and cats in Utah if done humanely with one bullet to the head. City maintenance supervisor Stephen Beagley said, "I have never a time when it took more than one bullet." The city denied any allegations that the animals suffered from their policy.

The Humane Society of Utah is weighing in on this issue. The executive director, Gene Baierschmidt, says the only humane form of euthanasia is through lethal injection. "Something like this it's just unacceptable," said Baierschmidt.

Even if the city is following the law Folsom and Hanks say the city should be held to a higher standard. Folsom said, "There's so many dogs and cats in this pit. Its wrong." Hanks agreed, saying, "Somebody needs to finally stand up and say, you can't do this. It's not right."

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!

Tomorrow (Thursday, Sept. 10) an unknown few will embark on a photographic experiment, wherein many people from around the country - and possibly the world - will all snap a shot of the Western Horizon at exactly 7:40 PM (USA mountain time). The resulting pictures will be emailed to jorgen1225@gmail.com, where they will then be posted this Saturday at my other collaborative blog (The Ubiquitousness of Beauty), which is located here: http://theubiquitousnessofbeauty.blogspot.com

I will be sure to post here when the pictures are online there. So, let's hope this 'experiment' goes well.

For more details, you can see the facebook events page HERE.

The Universe in a Single Atom

Although I remain very busy this semester - and with each day only seeming busier - I don't have too much free time to read what I want to read.

I continue to further my understanding of Philosophy of Time, but I think I am going to begin studying Buddhism at a deeper level again.

It has been almost a year now since I was in Wayne Hanewicz's Buddhist Philosophy course (a course he is teaching once again in Spring 2011, mind you), and the timing feels right to delve back into that direction. While in the course, we were set to read four books. However, we ran out of time before coming to the fourth book - that being the book pictured on the right: "The Universe in a Single Atom". I've thumbed through this book now an then, and it will certainly be a fascinating read. So, if I find myself with some free time in the coming days and weeks, I hope to read this book with careful attention. And, though I've not yet read it, I recommend that others either check this book, or other Buddhist literature (particularly from the Dalai Lama), out. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. It will, at worst, provide some food for thought regarding thinking, time, being, and existence.

Short Poem

Lock me up in heaven
she tells me—
all white and boring.
I’ll paint my way out,
with blood, if necessary.
Brushes create doors,
from which to escape—
an enigma, for all
who are dreaming
of beautiful things:
things like heaven,
things to destroy
with a brush,
an epistle,
an idea.

Quabity Aschwitz!

Season 6 of The Office begins in a little over 3 weeks. YES!

New Semester

Fall semester began last week. I have four semesters remaining and then I am (hopefully) out of Utah and off to graduate school. I, however, once again find myself incredibly busy this fall. I am taking four courses (biology, stats for psychology, ancient philosophy, and a senior seminar in philosophy), I am also working with the Animal Allies Club and the Philosophy Club, I am doing work study with the philosophy dept., I am planning next years Animal Ethics Conference, I am working on an honors CEL (Center of Engaged Learning) project, I am writing (minimally) for the UVU REVIEW (newspaper) and I am reading for Touchstones Literary Journal.

This fall looks promising, though, and I am excited to be progressing academically and helping to organize so many amazing events.

Allllllllllllrrrrrrighhhht.

I fully intend to write on this blog much more often than I have been. So, keep on checking back (if you have been all of this time).

Boulder: Day 2

Not MUCH new to report, I suppose. The second day of class went better than the first. People are getting to know each other and are loosening up. Today (the third day of class) should be even better as far as discussion, etc.

On a negative note, I somehow managed to acquire a GIANT blister on my left foot that goes up between my toes, and now I have a small blood blister on my right foot on account of walking funny to guard my left. Hopefully those will disappear by Saturday so I can go hiking with everyone, but I'm skeptical about that.

Nothing interesting happening. Still missing Paige, cats, family, etc.. Here are some random pictures (the first and third pictures are of the dorms we are staying in).

Boulder: Day 1

So, the idea here is that I am going to try and update about my time in Boulder as much as possible. We'll see how consistent I am with this. Nothing special, maybe just a quick recap of the day (even for my own memory), but if anything particularly interesting happens, I will post it here (maybe with some pictures?).

First off, my dorm room is nothing to brag about. I have one free outlet, and I have three or more things to plug into this outlet at any given time. So I have to juggle between my laptop power adapter, my phone charger, and my alarm clock. The room is smile and kitchen-esque (complete with tile floors, a small fridge and microwave). I have a small desk, a fake closet, a bookshelf and a tiny bed (and no Paige to sleep with).

The pre-first day (yesterday, before classes started) went well. I met everyone and everyone seems nice enough. Not many people share my exact interests (one or two maybe), but it is good to learn of others' interests and learn from them. The campus and surrounding areas are absolutely beautiful. And there are quite a few vegan options close by (including VG Burgers, which I still need to try).

The first day of class went well. A lot of people talking a lot, so it seems a bit fragmented and crowded, and it is, but that was to be expected. Dr. Pasnau was nice and insightful and I enjoyed his lecturing. We had a few interesting discussions in the three hour session and some, albeit fewer, interesting discussion in the later 2 hour session. I don't have much details to give on such discussions, but they concerned Scholastic thoughts regarding identity and Post-Scholastic responses and objections/rejections to such thoughts.

Bob (Pasnau) took us all out to dinner afterwards. We went to 'Old Chicago', which, as it turned out, did NOT have many vegan options and they had to make a special pizza for us vegans (there are three of us, wow!). I've walked around town and seen, well, not much, but some. It's been interesting. I've had a few enlightening conversations so far, with more to certainly come.

However, I do miss Paige, miss home, miss the family and the cats. I am not able to sleep well at all, but I'm getting used to this place. I would really like to attend graduate school here (so far anyway).

Until further notice, that is all.

PS: Here are a few pictures (nothing interesting so far, just the dorm room).

My door is the first (closest) on the left.

My small room for the remaining pictures.

Day At The Capital

(click to see larger)